Nails in their hands and feet
They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire
To run their hands through their hair
Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out
They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.
Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.
Because it's dead.
He had too much thyme on his hands.
I literally can't even.
The back of my hand...
OCDC
Hands up
No chance of blocking an uppercut.
Having half a screaming child on your hands.
Jack of all Spades
The back of my hand.
Cache in hand.
Cover your ears with your hands
Danke
You will lose every hand.
Nail the other hand to the floor.
They keep falling through his hands.
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.
When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching
On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.
I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.
A high phive!
Because then it would be a foot..
Two pirates
He couldn't make hands meet.
Because all his genes were hand me downs.
Because they kept falling through his hands.
Anne Boleyn's.
I knead you!
Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.
The Back Hand
Are easily threaded by one person, with one hand. Doot.
Remove the ring and your house is gone.
The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.
All those spikes hurt his hands
Nobody knows yet.
At a fist pump.
Because he caught everything bear handed!
Because they're always throwing up their hands.
He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands
A PALM TREE!!!
They shake hands.
Count Dracula.
Personally, I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.
Holding their hands up
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
It's just nice having an extra set of hands around.
Arrrrrrr-wen
A hand shake.
Look! No hands!
When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.
A watchman.
I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.
They were both caught with hands in their drawers.
He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.
Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a page and hand it to her.
He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour
Hand her a shovel
It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.
A handshake
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!
Because they fall through his hands.
My hands.
That's the worst book I ever read.
Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza
Many hands make light work.
Because their hands are always in someone else's!
A! (hands raised up)
Nail it's other hand to the floor.
The Army.
They have to use TWO hands.
One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.
A real mess on your hands.
Kermit's undivided
The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.
Papal towels.
Hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D... wait what were YOU THINKING!!!
Someone else's!
It makes it possible for them to go from hole to hole with an iron in their hands.
Happy halloweenie
Everyone needs a little bit of good inside them.
One hand on the wheel the other on the road.
God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top
Nail its other hand to the floor.
The French. They always have their hands up.
It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands.
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)
He went to the second-hand shop.
Give them a hand!
A baby with its hand in the power socket.
The NaCls
I poop with both hands.
DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME
Oh, so it has its ups and downs.
A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!
I-scream!
So you'll never know which side he's on.
To be that much closer to crossing the ocean.
It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate.
They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!
My zipper.
32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.
Jim shorts.
Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here
No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
Chopped dates.
