How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house?

When the big hand touches the little hand

This joke may have profanity.
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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room?

He will tell you.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

When the power goes off.

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's the worst thing to read in Braille?

Don't touch this.

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

Michael Jacksons Jokes More Michael Jacksons Jokes
Michael Jacksons House Jokes More Michael Jacksons House Jokes
Big Hand Jokes More Big Hand Jokes

How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand's touching the little hand.

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Little Hand Jokes More Little Hand Jokes

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.