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What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How do you break up with a farmer long-distance?

A John Deere letter.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts?

Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the Ocean say to the Beach?

Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.

What time does Andy Murray go to bed?

Tennish!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

Why did the mechanic go to art school?

Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go!

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...