If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.
When it turns into a driveway.
You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.
Because it was stationary.
Get in the car
A Rolls-Royce.
A Cadillac.
Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)
You park your car, man.
Carlos.
When you run in front of a car you get tired. When you run behind a car you get exhausted.
Because she prefers to drive stick!
They both used to have Les (less) Miles!
He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.
Virgin Mobile
In car, serrated
Gnocchi
An autumn-mobile.
Park-istan!
His car.
Hit by a car.
Carloss
He parks his car, man.
Cars.
A Christler.
Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.
A Toyoda.
A convertible.
He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted.
Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.
A Toy-Yoda
Because he forgot to check his blind side.
Forwards
Because he is dead
A Chrysler
A CADillac.
He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends
A Hamburghini.
Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
Top Gear,
A ManDeLorean.
I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended.
So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.
Hey! I'm Joaquin here!
DODGE!!!
He had Gnocchi.
Wonder how the hell a car got into the kitchen
A Doge charger
A mode of transportation.
No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot
Half a Romeo.
With parts unknown.
Cause it got al dente'd up!
Tumblr.
Jeep Jeep
Because black tires makes your car run faster
Liam Nissan
The Ford Siesta Many thanks to for that one.
Triple, eh?
At a fist pump.
A!
The Polish.
They know how to work under the hood!
Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.
Sad Dan
Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.
A Ford.
Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.
I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.
Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry.
Carlos-t
A boogati!
Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.
Impounding your mother
Audi!
Yorkies
A Christler
Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.
Because other cars have Mordor.
Because he got hit by a car
Motorcycles don't have trunks
Because inertia is a property of matter.
A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.
He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now
A Yarrrrrrrrris.
Rolls Rice
Juan less car (one less car)
Nyet long. He's always Russian.
Where there is a fork in the road. This and other tyre jokes here:
Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.
A Kia Soul.
Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.
Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.
Because they are always stalin.
A tire.
You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.
Because he was two tired.
Don't look I'm changing!
Bach in the saddle again.
George Lucas.
Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.
Mean.
GtOnly if you go aks your mother.
Urinate
Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.
A pumpkin!
They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!
From chasing cars.
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows Yeah, I know it's old....
One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.
They end up in a shallow grave.
He lost his hearing.
A Concussion.
To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.