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What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.

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Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call a car full of nuns?

Virgin Mobile

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the footballer's girlfriend think when she saw him standing between some goal posts?

He's a keeper

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're really nice people.

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)