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Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

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Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

How do you make a latte?

Add $5 to a cup of coffee.

What is more inappropriate than a 7 year old saying "I drink coffee"?

Her saying "I drink it black, like my men"

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did they call the man who knew how to read maps?

A legend

Who i am?

Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am Boy: Good (Walks Away)

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

How do you know the universe likes Saturn?

It put a ring on it.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and James Corden all have in common?

Minority Bandleaders. Who says affermative action doesn't work.

How do you tell which truck is the mail truck?

It has huge balls on it. Credit goes to the 70 year old man who just came into my work and made my day.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What's a junkie's favorite videogame?

Need for Speed.

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

What do you call an organized group of people waiting to get drinks?

Punchline

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

Why don't you put an advert in the paper?

Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"

News Jokes More News Jokes

What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea?

Getting the news from your dentist

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

Setup Jokes More Setup Jokes

Why are setups to jokes so important?

Because seven ate nine.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)