April Sale - 20% Off

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Previous Random Joke Next
Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it?

Who are these iron-mouthed warriors

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup?

Literally all gardening stops

What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue?

I don't know

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?

Pandapalegic

Why does the CPU never get any work done?

Because it gets interrupted constantly.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

Why are “Dad Jokes” so good?

Because the punchline is apparent.

Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes?

The punchline is too long.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

What do animals read in zoos?

Gnus papers.

News Jokes More News Jokes

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Setup Jokes More Setup Jokes

What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline?

To get to the other side.

Why are setups to jokes so important?

Because seven ate nine.