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Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

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Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

Starbucks

What is more inappropriate than a 7 year old saying "I drink coffee"?

Her saying "I drink it black, like my men"

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a shirt has phoned you?

Collar ID

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do rabbits get to work?

By rabbit transit!

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

Why are men better cooks?

They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke?

You skip the punchline.

How about a game?

You provide a random set up and we provide the punchline (PTP). Most upvoted wins imaginary internet points.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Read the label.

News Jokes More News Jokes

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

How did the wasps take that news?

God: Err...

Setup Jokes More Setup Jokes

Why are setups to jokes so important?

Because seven ate nine.

What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline?

To get to the other side.