Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How are rookie marathon runners like people with erectile dysfunction?

There both just honestly happy to finish

How do people with Mesothelioma live their lives?

Asbestos they can.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does a hippy tell you when you ask them to leave?

Namaste

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

What's the difference between god and pilots?

God doesn't think he's a pilot.

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

News Jokes More News Jokes

What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

They both made the news for not being straight.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)