Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Who wants to hear some Symphonies?

Crowd goes wild B:I SAID WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES *crowd goes nuts B:I CANT HEAR YOU!

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

News Jokes More News Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Ups Jokes More Ups Jokes

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama?

Too soon.

Fed Ex Jokes More Fed Ex Jokes

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

What a common problem with r/jokes and FedEx?

Delivery

Merge Jokes More Merge Jokes

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop?

A big mac*

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Fed Jokes More Fed Jokes

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the Feds?

A small medium at large.