News Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ()

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

Why was the doctor annoyed?

Because he didn't have any patients.

Nascar Jokes More Nascar Jokes

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright.

What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

What's a Polar Bear's favourite soup?

A laksa.

What's the dumbest animal in the desert?

The Polar Bear

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?

Because he doesn't work with Vision

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Bad News Bear Jokes More Bad News Bear Jokes

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Adopt Jokes More Adopt Jokes

Why did the cowboy adopt a Weiner dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.