News Jokes

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why does Sia live in a low-rent apartment?

She loves cheap bills

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What did Optimus Prime say to Arcee?

Have you ever blown a Transformer?

What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you.

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

Fox News Jokes More Fox News Jokes

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

What is more dangerous than a polar bear?

A bi-polar bear.

What's the stupidest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

News Jokes

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

Love Card

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

How did the wasps take that news?

Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Did you hear the news?

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