Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME
Small medium at large.
50 Shades of Earl Grey
Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".
There were no jokes in the Post.
Because I always get weird stairs
Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.
He suffered an elegiac reaction.
The Moo York Times
Because you already read-it.
I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.
Because it's re-fined!
They always have pecans! (Read aloud)
The braille left her lips numb.
Because you already read it.
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.
Well Red.
Because he was dyslectric.
Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.
The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.
Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)
It's not my fault I'm blind.
One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.
Boo bae! (Read aloud please)
Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.
People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!
Very limited fonts.
When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.
Conics
I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"
Do not touch.
I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.
Idk EDIT: Read the letters out loud
In Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly.
Because he hasn't Read October.
One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.
He removed the appendix!
A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)
Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)
He read that it was an invisible solid.
How to Train Your Dragon. Good parenting, that is.
One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
Holy Braille
Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)
That's the worst book I ever read.
Because 12 13 14!
Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)
You have to read ursine.
Just ask them to read this word: unionized.
This was incredibly clever when I first thought of it but then I did some research...the closest they get to being Italian is that George Clooney was a "pioneer" for them: Reading that makes me never want to wear them again.
We saw that same joke two days ago
Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.
Nostril-damus. &nbsp Works better if you read the joke out loud.
A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
One with a cemetery plot.
To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.
He read it in the Hobbituary.
Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions
They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
Speechless
The posters
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
Read the label.
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
Driver: I don't believe everything I read.
Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.
Curses, foiled again!
Pupil: I dunno! Teacher: But you're reading aloud! Pupil: But I'm not listening!
She peed her pants (read out loud)
Gnus papers.
Tequila Mockingbird.
I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."
Do not touch
C:/ Dos C:/ Dos Run Run Dos Run
Comment after reading the article.
It's not like they had to be there...
Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
A heroine addict.
Danger: Do not touch
A legend
Cause you've already reddit!
Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.
Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'
A newspaper.
If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read
Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.
Too many colons.
Raile!
Waiter: Probably learning to read.
None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.
Adobe Wan Kenobi
Adam and Eve
Because they had no bars on their cells!
A small medium at large.
William the Corn-cutter!
A question mark.
Asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
She asked. "Oh same as usual" he replied "boring."
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!
Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.
There's been a ground breaking discovery...
They found traces of Mercury in him.
Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)
Math hue.
