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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

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Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent.

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

Big Lie Jokes More Big Lie Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming?

My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

What is the term for a group of Canadians?

Is it "an apology" "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery?

Bread and Bakedfast!