Universe Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

How do you know the universe likes Saturn?

It put a ring on it.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

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Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

Flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH?

A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Dc Jokes More Dc Jokes

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

They're both under DC.

Shredder Jokes More Shredder Jokes

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

Centre Jokes More Centre Jokes

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

Cheerleader Jokes More Cheerleader Jokes

How did the cheerleader get magic AIDS?

A Magic Johnson.

What color is a cheerleader?

Yeller.

Gordon Jokes More Gordon Jokes

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

Kentucky Jokes More Kentucky Jokes

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

If it was invented anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...