University Jokes

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

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Where do mushrooms go to university?

The mycollege.

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

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What university did Lil Jon go to?

YAAAAAAAAALE

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

What university has the most brightest students and staff?

University of Brighton

Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

It's already got thousands of degrees.

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The University of Minnesoda

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims?

Their knees! Please comment "No"

What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common?

They are both generators (jenner-rater)

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Who's Aquaman?

Me: EXACTLY!

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

Graze Jokes More Graze Jokes

What's a buffalo's favorite activity?

Grazing.

Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?

It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...

Centre Jokes More Centre Jokes

What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership?

Reddit.

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

Deserve Jokes More Deserve Jokes

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

Program Jokes More Program Jokes

Why is ISIS going after programs?

Because they are executable

Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.