University Jokes

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

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Where do mushrooms go to university?

The mycollege.

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

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What university did Lil Jon go to?

YAAAAAAAAALE

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

What university has the most brightest students and staff?

University of Brighton

Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

It's already got thousands of degrees.

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The University of Minnesoda

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Gordon Jokes More Gordon Jokes

What if it's daytime?

Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

How do you make Aquaman cool?

Put him in water!

Fonz Jokes More Fonz Jokes

Who is the Fonz's favorite baseball team?

A'szzzz

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What's the difference between an M&amp?

M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.

Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?

Because she didn't want to go.

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

Why was 11 afraid of 12?

Because 12 13 14!

What does snoop doggy dog use to do his laundry?

Answer in comments.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do they serve you in a Viatnamese McDonalds?

NAMburgers

Deserve Jokes More Deserve Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Graze Jokes More Graze Jokes

What's a buffalo's favorite activity?

Grazing.

What grazes in the Higgs Field?

The Higgs Bison!