University Jokes

Where do mushrooms go to university?

The mycollege.

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What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

What university did Lil Jon go to?

YAAAAAAAAALE

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

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Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

What university has the most brightest students and staff?

University of Brighton

Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

It's already got thousands of degrees.

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The University of Minnesoda

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Florida Jokes More Florida Jokes

What did the Florida boy have on his feet?

Crocs

Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth?

He didn't have a Gar

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

College Jokes More College Jokes

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

Why did the M&M's go to college?

Because they wanted to be smarties.

Miami Jokes More Miami Jokes

What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami?

Won't get fooled again!

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 Ho's (sorry if it's a re-post)

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Who's Aquaman?

Me: EXACTLY!

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

Stadium Jokes More Stadium Jokes

What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl?

They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium)

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Who run the world?

Generally people who have at least a basic understanding of grammar.