Shredder Jokes

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

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How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

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Room Jokes More Room Jokes

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?

Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

How many ninjas are in this room?

As many as want to be!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you know when to use "fridge" or "refrigerator"?

Open it, if there's a 'd' in it, it's a fridge.

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A sourpuss!

What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke?

You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

How much do you love me?

Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Poster Jokes More Poster Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches?

Visa or Mastercard?

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Why couldn't the teddy bear smell?

Because his nose was stuffed

How much hate does it take to qualify as a "hater"?

I hate tons of stuff.