Shredder Jokes

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

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How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

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Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?

It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?

A full bull!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

When the cat's away.....?

The house smells better!

Poster Jokes More Poster Jokes

Why hang Wanted posters in the post office?

We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.

Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens?

He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone.