Stuff Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How is working in I.T. like being a wizard?

You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

He didn't understand Flossophy!

Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert?

Because he was stuffed!

What do you call a dog that goes through your stuff?

Snoop dog.

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey - he's always stuffed!

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

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Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal?

They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?

A full bull!

Why won't the machines just take over already?

I'm tired of doing stuff.

What's the Turkish version of court packing?

Turkey stuffing

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

Why couldn't the teddy bear smell?

Because his nose was stuffed

Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?

Because they're both full of stuffing!

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed.

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What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why does my computer always ask me if I'm "sure" about stuff?

Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

What does a taxidermist do for a living?

Oh you know... stuff...

Whatcha thinkin' about?

Taxidermist: Stuff.

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Why was the comic book series depressed?

Because it had too many issues.

Why is the archaeologist depressed?

Some old stuff just got dug up

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How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

What did one computer say to the other?

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How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

How much free space does Europe have?

1 GB.

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Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

What do Star Wars and the United Kingdom have in common?

They both abandoned the EU

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How did you get into my house?

Business.

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How did the bird get his bluetooth to work?

He had to parrot.

Who's there! Bach! Bach who?

Bach to work!