Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What are Gene Wilder and David Bowie getting for Christmas this year?

Betty White.

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!

What sound does a Polish crow make?

Krakow