Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is a primate's ideal salary?

A gorillian dollars per year.

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How much hate does it take to qualify as a "hater"?

I hate tons of stuff.

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights?

The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD.

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "