Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What does a taxidermist do for a living?

Oh you know... stuff...

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does an emo cow make?

Amumu

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup