Sound Jokes

Where are the best sounding farts listed?

Sharts.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, hubble, hubble shamelessly stolen joke from the Facebook page of "Grammarly"

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar

What sound does a street sweeper make?

Broom Broom

What is Sean Murray's favorite song?

The sound of silence

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.:

What sound does a chocolate bird make?

Cacao! Cacao!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why do most blind folks not skydive?

The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while.

How does a Plutonium Gun sounds like?

Pu! Pu! Pu!

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What did the car-painter say to the carpenter?

You sound just like me!

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

What sound does a cow make?

Sssssssss....

What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?

Reddit

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot?

An oompa loompa with a sore throat.

How do bored cows sound like?

Meh

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!

How can you call someone and sound fabulous?

Use a homophone.

What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops?

Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.

What sound does an emo cow make?

Amumu

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

What sound does a subatomic Cow make?

Muuuuuuon

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What sound does Korean bread make when it hits a wall?

Bang! (!)

What sound does a Hispanic pacman make?

Guac-a Guac-a!

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

(Scream) APPLE!!!

What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it?

Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!

What sound does a Japanese camera make?

Crick

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

What the sound of a rainbow laughing?

Hue hue hue hue

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?

A phone moan.

What sound does a banambulance make?

Naner naner naner

Who's cheese is on those chips?

Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.

What sound does a Turkey make?

Coup coup

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

Just spell it like the way it sounds!

What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?

The Sound of Sirens

What sound does a bomb make before it goes off?

Allahu ackbar!!

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

Log log log log log log log log log...

Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

What's loud and sounds like "apples"?

APPLES!!!*

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower?

Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion

What sound does an Italian American microwave make?

Bada bing!

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.

What sound does a Polish crow make?

Krakow

What is the sound of one hand typing?

Fap-fap-fap.

What sound does a black widow make?

My husband be dead

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

What is loud and sounds like an apple?

AN APPLE!

What sound was made when a water truck collided with a vinegar truck?

DOUCHE!!!

What sound do two photons make when they hit each other?

Planck!*

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

What sound does a Chinese cat make?

Mao

Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights?

The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD.

When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

So we can both sound useless.

What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze?

Cashew

How is a bell obedient?

It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino. (You may have to sound it out.)

What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

An anti-joke.

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

What sounds does a vicar's gun make?

Pew! Pew!

What sound does a dead cow make?

BOOOOOOOOOO

What sound does a doorbell make in China?

Ping pong.

What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make?

ITS RAWR!

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

What sound does and alcohlic train make?

Chug chug chug chug chug chug...

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?

He called the piano tuna!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

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List Jokes More List Jokes

Where Did it go?

Where did that list of dark jokes posted this morning go? Iv looked everywhere.

What are some of your weaknesses?

Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...

Boeing Jokes More Boeing Jokes

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!

D Jokes More D Jokes

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Why did Yoda never get married?

Because when he was standing by alter, and asked "If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife " His response was "Do I "

Urinate Jokes More Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

Bounce Jokes More Bounce Jokes

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

Who's there! Checkmate! Checkmate who?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

Shart Jokes More Shart Jokes

Where are the best sounding farts listed?

Sharts.

What do you call a shart?

Woopsie Poopsie