Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

What do you call the feeling of being unable to urinate beside a friend?

PEEr pressure!

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

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Uti Jokes More Uti Jokes

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?

Because they're too high-strung. Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

What do you do with a Rhinoceros with 3 balls?

You walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

Clear Urine Jokes More Clear Urine Jokes

What do you call really clear urine?

1080p

What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080p

Medication Jokes More Medication Jokes

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

P Jokes More P Jokes

What begins with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn, of course!

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

Papal towels.

What do you use when you are drowning in women?

A flirtation device.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient?

Suture self!

Why can I never be a doctor?

Because I don't have any patients

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise.