Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

What do you call the feeling of being unable to urinate beside a friend?

PEEr pressure!

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

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Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house?

Because he has gnocchi

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

Urine Trouble Jokes More Urine Trouble Jokes

What do you say to someone with a bladder problem?

Urine trouble.

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the number 1 say to (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

Urologist Jokes More Urologist Jokes

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

Urine trouble!

Sidewalk Jokes More Sidewalk Jokes

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.