Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

What do you call the feeling of being unable to urinate beside a friend?

PEEr pressure!

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection?

It's just too hard.

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a radio that walks?

A walkie talkie.

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

We're walking four abreast.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's supposed to be funny, but let's you down?

This joke...

Why we going into the woods?

Let me out

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the patient that showed up wearing Saran Wrap and nothing else?

I can clearly see your nuts!

What kind of patients?

All of them

P Jokes More P Jokes

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper?

Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing.

Nice Watch Jokes More Nice Watch Jokes

What's the last thing you want to hear while using a urinal?

Nice watch

Why does John Snow wear a Rolex?

Because he's a man of the nice watch

Apprentice Jokes More Apprentice Jokes

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!