Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Apprentice Jokes More Apprentice Jokes

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea?

It sinks.

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

Why are Skeleton's so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?

Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did one kangaroo say to the other kangaroo?

I don't know I don't speak kangaroo.

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

Reward Jokes More Reward Jokes

Why wouldn't the worker accept 10 fresh chickens as a reward for saving a farm on fire?

It was a poultry amount

How do you reward a chicken journalist?

With a poulette surprise!

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?

I am the extruder...

Plunger Jokes More Plunger Jokes

How do you clear a traffic jam at a banker convention?

With a plunger.

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!