Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. That's a hardware problem but have you tried turning it on and off again

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, how did they get in there anyway?

Plunger Jokes More Plunger Jokes

How do you clear a traffic jam at a banker convention?

With a plunger.

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?

Fancy a bite

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?

Grave-y!

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if an axe falls on your car?

You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

What happens when devil worshipers do the rain dance?

PrecipiSatan

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

Where is the monster's temple?

On the side of his head.

Apprentice Jokes More Apprentice Jokes

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.