Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise.

What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo?

Surprise subtext.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is better than getting a N64 on Christmas?

Getting a N64 now

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

How do snowmen read their e-mails?

With an icy-stare!

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What's the difference between an apple?

A bike because a vest has no sleeves.

Who's there! Apple! Apple who?

Apple the door myself!

Britain Jokes More Britain Jokes

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II?

I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Apprentice Jokes More Apprentice Jokes

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why did the bait-shop owner take an apprentice?

He wanted to be a master-baiter.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What's up?

Not Egyptian Air

What do you call an Egyptian spine adjuster?

A Cairopractor

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What did one Jersey girl's leg say to the other?

Nothing - they've never met.

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!