Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call an awkward questioner?

I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.

How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit

What if UK's politician changes the lightbulb?

He Brexit!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

Happy Brr-day son!

How do snowmen travel around?

By iceicle!

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

What did the bunny ask his boss for?

A raise in *celery*.

Brexit Vote Jokes More Brexit Vote Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

Who's there! Banana! Banana who?

Banana split so ice creamed!

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning the light off and back on?

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.