Ice Jokes

Why does Harambe confuse bartenders?

All he wants is Just Ice

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Why did Batman go to the corner store?

FOR JUST ICE

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

What is a terrorists favourite dessert?

Ice is

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What did water say when ice farted?

Ice melt it.

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

What do you say to a fig on ice?

Fig u're skating

What does Batman get in his drink?

Just Ice

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play?

Don't Break the Ice

What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?

Franchicing

What does Batman take in his whiskey?

Just ice.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

Polaroids

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?

Polar-oids

How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

What does Batman like with his whiskey?

Gravely voice) "Just ice."

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice.

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Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

What did the judge order in his whiskey?

Just ice

What does Batman like in his lemonade?

Just ice.

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

What can be found in a Judge's freezer?

Just ice.

What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?

They've both got ice on the inside.

Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

Neither. It's a Thai.

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

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What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

What does Batman take in his beverages?

Just...ice.

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?

It lives on ice!

What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?

Ice-is

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

What drink can I get you?

Just ice for Harambe

What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

Why don't you try icing it

What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?

Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)

What does Batman put in his drink?

Just ice

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

Who's driving?

Immigration. (ICE)

How does Batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice

What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?

Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

You add ices.

What do magistrates have with their water?

Just ice.

Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

He knew they were going to ice him.

What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?

Ice is.

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?

Because he had been told to ice it.

What does Batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What does Batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?

A. Polaroids.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

How do Super Heroes like their drinks served?

WITH JUST ICE!

What can I get you?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

What kind of money do snowmen use?

Iced lolly.

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?

To keep the swelling down.

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

What will you be drinking?

Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

What are you looking for!?

Just-ice!

Who's there! Banana! Banana who?

Banana split so ice creamed!

What color is ice?

Hielo.

Why did Batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

Because he wanted just ice.

What is the difference between ice and dry ice?

Dry ice lacks of water.

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

How much does the average introvert weigh?

Not enough to break the ice.

What does a Polish guy do on the ice?

He breaks in.

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

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Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What does a scientist who has an epiphany while peeing say?

Urea!

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What's the newest fitness craze sweeping American police forces?

Lead injections.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

What do you call a joke that has been internet obsolete for a while?

The Game.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper