Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

How much does the average introvert weigh?

Not enough to break the ice.

What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Conversation Jokes More Conversation Jokes

What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

What do you call a group of scientists discussing different ways to recycle power?

A conversation of energy.