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What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Why did the firefly keep stealing things?

What goes "snap crackle and pop" A firefly with a short circuit!

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What's the difference between the Earth and my sock?

The Earth's crust is on the outside.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?

The week force.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.