How they process things.
A neck-romancer
It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.
Decomposing
Welp. You dim sum, you lose some
They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.
Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.
A kleptomaniac!
A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.
A hippocratic hypocrite.
Hey guys, watch this!
When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.
A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing
To spruce things up a bit.
They always take things the wrong way.
The fourth wall
They handsome money to the cashier
Try to disable sticky keys.
Imagination.
Just out of Curiosity...
Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'
WATERRR THOOOOOSSSSSEEEEE!!!!
It's a habit.
Finding half of a roach in your food.
Two test-tickles!
Coffin
They take things literally
I'm not Willie Nelson.
Well, one things for sure
A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.
There's no such thing as potato quality there.
Give it two test-tickles!
It doesn't sit well.
When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.
A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it.
Because they take things literally.
Most things.
They both like seeing the same thing a year later.
To prove they can focus on two things at once.
The same thing Arkansas
I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald
Because he tries to keep things Loki...
Because they always take things littorally
Legs
Okay men, get on the ship.
Tulips on an Organ.
Because they always take things literally
Two test-tickles.
Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.
A Freudian slip is when someone says one thing when thinking of amother.
A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.
A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.
Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans. (I will be hated by few)
Lettuce pray
Two test tickles.
Two test tickles
Oh yeah. Imagination.
They are things to adore
China probably can pop corn in one minute.
Me: Let's not rush things, OK
The operating system
From a cat-alogue!
A segreGATOR
Reelection.
Working people's wallets.
They fall for things hook line and sinker!
He doesn't know how to turn things down
The alphabat.
Papal
NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Asworstos.
You add a dab of glue.
Because he was always pinching things.
Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add!
I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.
Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.
Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
Its arse.
It's rear end!
So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.
Jar Jars.
He likes to keep things low key.
You're hired" "Not guilty"
I ain't Willie Nelson.
A. They really raised Cain.
Anne hath a way.
The corpse.
The satis-factory.
The business plan.
You've got a lot of potential, son.
A cosmetrologist.
Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.
The dishes if she knows whats good for her.
Walks home.
They take things literally.
Your fingers.
"Today children we will learn our ABC's"
Parrot says, "Africa."
Dood
Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.
Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.
I do.
On the world wide web.
A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me.
It's only check, mate
You can't ride your bike on a sociopath
The sociopath.
Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself.
It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.
They like to express the right to bear arms.
Because people are dying to get in.
The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
