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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

Lettuce pray

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What do you call a thief with steel armor?

A stealer!!!!!

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I () can't () understand () your accent ().

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally