Sarcasm Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?

Play ball.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

How long does an owl live?

About six and a half books.

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing worse than finding a roach in your food?

Finding half of a roach in your food.

When things go wrong, what can you always count on?

Your fingers.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

Why are thieves the best actors?

Because they always steal the show.

How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs?

He was delighted.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops

Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach?

San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't watch the Flinstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.

What is the difference between a man and a woman?

Wo

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?

A thought.