Sarcasm Jokes

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

Why did the knight stop using the internet?

Because he was sick of chainmail.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?

The other blonde says, "Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What is the difference between reindeer and caribou?

Reindeer are the ones that fly.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

What's Blue, Orange and Lying at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool?

A baby with popped floaties.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

How fast can you order a pizza?

HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

Why didn't the mathematician want to go to the beach?

He didn't want people to see his tan lines.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

The obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.