Beach Jokes

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach?

San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

What do you get when you drop your frozen waffle at the beach?

A San Diego

Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach?

He was too concerned with the tan gent.

Why did the hippy drown at the beach?

Because he was too far out mannnn.

Why do mathematician never go to the beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan

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What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What did the Ocean say to the Beach?

Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.

What do you call a dog that goes to the beach?

Ballroom blitz

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach?

Tan lines.

Where'd I drop my waffle?

At the beach in San Diego.

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

How do black people get tans at the beach?

They lay down on their backs and put their legs and arms toward the sky.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What do you call a mathematician at the beach?

A tan gent.

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Why did the obtuse triangle go to the beach?

Because it was more than 90 degrees.

What did the sea say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!

What did the guy say to MJ at the beach?

Get out of my son.

What do you call an international criminal waffle that you dropped at the beach?

Carmen Sandy Eggo

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head &amp Shoulders on the beach

Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?

Because they always blow their trunks off!

How can you tell if a shark has dandruff?

He left his head and shoulders on the beach.

What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach?

A dead one...

What does a man with one leg wear to the beach?

Flop.

What did the beach boys play at their reunion show?

Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger.

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders

Why did the chicken cross the beach?

To get to the other tide

What is the name of that casino on the beach?

Pair-a-dice.

What did the man say to the priest at the beach?

Do you mind getting out of my son.

How did San Diego get its name?

Someone dropped their waffle on the beach.

What do you call a canine that lives at the beach?

A hot dog.

What do you get when you combine north beach and south beach?

Sum of beaches.

What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach?

A tangent

Why did the shell not go to the beach?

Because he was self-CONCH-ious.

How do you get a whale off a beach?

A whale-barrow!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sandwich.

What did one font say to the other while at the beach?

Serifs up, dude!

What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

What do you call a dog on the beach?

Sandy Claws Merry Christmas

What do you call a nut on a wall?

A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!

How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Why didn't the mathematician want to go to the beach?

He didn't want people to see his tan lines.

Why didn't the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach?

Because secant tan

What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach?

Sandy

What kind of witch goes to the beach?

Sandwitch

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

What do you find on a beach?

A tangent.

What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach?

A speedo

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry?

Because of the sand which is there.

How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how many survivors there are. too soon.

What did the man with dyslexia do while he was at the beach?

Sarah Palin

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

Why are doctors sued for malpractice at the beach?

Because they are judged by a jury of their piers.

What did the sunbathing mother say to Michael Jackson as he walked by on the beach?

Would you please move You're in my sun.

What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach?

You sand it!

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there I'm shore you did, beach.

What do you call a witch that goes to the beach?

Sandwich(sandwitch) -my nephew

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach?

Flip-Flips.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

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What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Who takes the most drugs?

The police.

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What do they call me in prison?

Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it?

A 20 dollar bill

Why did the Hydroxyl molecule blow up the US Mint?

It was a Free Radical.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do Demons and Ghouls hang out together?

Because Demons are a Ghouls best friend.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug?

It makes me sick.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.