Addict Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

Because he was in Da-Nile

Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab?

Because he was addicted to Coke.

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What did the power ranger-turned-addict say?

It's morphine time!

What do you call a drug-addicted canine?

A meth lab!

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

A quackhead.

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why are wires addicted to electricity?

They can't resist.

What did the drug test say to the addict?

URINE TROUBLE!

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because all the kids have to play in side.

What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

Heroin Jokes More Heroin Jokes

What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

Ted Jokes More Ted Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the Bible?

Duderonomy! They also like Leviticus.

Liner Jokes More Liner Jokes

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

Who just can't get enough of one liners?

Coke addicts.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Addiction Jokes More Addiction Jokes

What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of?

Addiction

What brings you here?

14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Where ya been?

Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead Me: Yeah. All of them.