Heroin Jokes

What does heroin make you feel like?

More heroin.

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What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you combine alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser?

They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.

Drug Addict Jokes More Drug Addict Jokes

What is a drug addicts favorite snack?

Crack-ers

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?

One...but it takes him 27 tries

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Have everybody chip in.

Object Jokes More Object Jokes

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What kind of drug is /r/theRedPill?

It's a beta blocker

Heroine Jokes More Heroine Jokes

What is a drug addict's favorite series?

Really anything with a strong Heroine

What is Wonder Woman's favorite drug?

Heroine.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase?

Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one.