Heroin Jokes

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why is steam such a hipster?

Because it was water before it was cool.

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

Why did Ken and Barbie never have any kids?

Ken always came in a different box.

Dealer Jokes More Dealer Jokes
Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

It died.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

Catch.

Ted Jokes More Ted Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless