Heroin Jokes

What does heroin make you feel like?

More heroin.

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What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do farts and children have in common?

You love your own, but hate everyone else's.

What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?

Yesallwomen

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Where does a burger feel at home?

On the range!

How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk?

Udderly useless.

Villain Jokes More Villain Jokes

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?

Not in a kids movie, dude. "Ok, but it's puppy skin " - Oh, then YES!

Cast Jokes More Cast Jokes

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

MOVIES!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why can't a hand be 12 inches long?

BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!

When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position?

The four hands (you dirty minds)

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do people call Mozart and Beethoven after they died?

Decomposers

What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

Heroine Jokes More Heroine Jokes

Why are all comic book readers drug addicts?

They just can't resist the heroine.

What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why was the baby strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam.

Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.