Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out
Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.
Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?
Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...
Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us
To remind them why there's no money in it
I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.
Because it was rated R.
A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.
Hello from the other slIIIIiiiIIIIide
Lets go play on our bikes.
Poverty
They throw silverware on the ground!
Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"
The slide into poverty.
Names.
It's too complex
Disney Movies still touch kids
GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.
Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.
An anti-hissy-tamine.
Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!
Ken always came in a different box.
Bill and Sue
Because Ken came in another box.
Hip-Pop
Nana boo boo
Because the bus hit him.
He was told not to play with his food.
To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.
Inconceivable.
Bison
Sandiego
Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.
They never got a reaction out of him.
Chicks are for kids!
Both are yelling at the same kid.
A trip without the kids
Justin Timberpuddle!
One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries
To boldly split infinitives!
Stop using Chex as a weapon!
Because all the kids have to play in side.
Ken came in a different box.
It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.
Making them!!!
Because they have Hollow-Weinies
Child custardy
Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...
At whine o'clock.
May the force be with you
Because they contain a lot of fowl language.
You planet early.
Are you kidding That's a hardware problem!
A kid who loves halalpenos
WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels
Me *turns around and goes back out*
They're too mature for their taste
Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)
You're single with no kids." Me: " Exactly."
Cause North and South Poles repel each other...
ABCD
By putting flowers on the grave.
A trip without kids.
They both give kids a little head.
Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it
Fo' Frizzle
Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!
ARE YE READY KIDS!
They are both over the counter strike
A rebel without a Claus.
I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."
Me: When are you going to stop
A kid.
Me: i have no idea what he's for
Bye, son.
Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!
A real hootenanny!
Don't talk with someone in your mouth.
Just planning ahead...
Ice cubes.
Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through
Jose and Hose-B
The first one usually gets screwed up.
They wanted to see it crack up!
Matt.
Mumbai
Because 30 is too many!
Q*berty. (my kids wrote this!)
Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.
A migraine
Because there was a 50% chance of rain
Because they always turn out in-bread.
I dunno. Ask the kids.
To give their kids a wide birth.
Zoolander
Under his buccan-hat.
I blame my shelf
Get out of the way.
One if nobody is watching.
All 12
Aston Vanilla!
The man was a corpse being buried forever.
He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.
A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.
Namaste.
Nobody asks, 'who's there ' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.
They always miss the shot
Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether
He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.
