Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!
Look ma, no hands!
I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.
Because she said so and that's final.
Your mom!
Your mom.
She had gotten him out of a tight spot before.
Because it's mom was in a real jam.
Help! I'm melting!
They both spit.
His mom was in a jam!
Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.
Cause his mom was in a jam.
His mom was in a jam.
Because your mom was on the other side..
Were both constantly penetrating your mom
When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.
If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.
You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)
Me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car
Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.
Because it's mom was a wafer so long.
We're always penetrating your mom
I forgot to wet the soap.
Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally, cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom
Mom & Dad
Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs.... YOUR MOM.
Thanks for the mammaries!
YOU'RE MOM.
His mom got soul custody.
Besides a tiny, brief panic attack
You're adopted.
Mom and Dad.
He went to Jared.
Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
You tell your mom you're Sikh.
They both got nailed
Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.
It was an ax-I-dent.
It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.
Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!
About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.
I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.
A booquet of flowers.
The baby, because he's a little Bigger.
Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.
Abort mission!
Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.
Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs Your mom.
His answer: "My mom."
A momma's boa.
KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods
Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs Your mom
You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.
A Regis Error.
Because his uncles are aunts.
All of if its uncles are aunts!
Because he cauterize.
Because Dey-go-bah.
At a fist pump.
Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
They cell it.
6 1/2 books.
It scares the hell out of the dog.
Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano
He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)
Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.
