What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

Why did I cross the road?

Because your mom was on the other side..

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?

Jesus died on the cross

What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?

A Cruci-fixie.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.