How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Why was the cookie crying?

Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

Why should you never buy Ukrainian underwear?

Chernobyl fallout.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom?

Bedlam

How can you tell that your dog just gave birth?

It is now a parent.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What is a detective duck supposed to do?

Quack the case!

What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

Adult Jokes More Adult Jokes

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

How will I know when I'm an adult?

And I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'