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What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

They're stuck at C for years

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth?

One was planned.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?

Your honor.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's your favorite movie?

DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

Witness Jokes More Witness Jokes

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.