Witness Jokes

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

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Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

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Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?

Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there is lots of school spirit!

Bob Marley Jokes More Bob Marley Jokes

What is Captain Ahab's favorite reggae band?

Bob Marley and The Whalers!

How is Microsoft like Bob Marley?

I do updates before I do updates. And then I do updates.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

Italy Jokes More Italy Jokes

Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Where do poor people live in Italy?

In the spaghetto

Biscuit Jokes More Biscuit Jokes

How does Bob Marley like his biscuits?

Wit jam in?

Why did the biscuit cry?

His mum had been a wafer too long.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What food is given to ebola patients?

Pizza because it can be slipped under the door.

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.