How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

Witness Jokes More Witness Jokes

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

22 Jokes More 22 Jokes

How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb.

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.