Always tip your server.
Window.
A huge mess.
1 natural log cabin.
He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."
Cuz it has another 1
They both want to pull 1 over on you.
239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".
Remove only the top 1% please.
Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.
11 Because it has another 1
1 or 2? 1... or 2...
11, Because it has another 1.
An envelope!
It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ
1
Because in charge Yoda was.
Because 6 8 9
Someone told him it was 2's day.
1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.
1%
That one doesn't believe in six before marriage.
Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry.
The Sirens of the Rams.
1 bear.
It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting.
He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
1 corpsepower
20 after 1.
Buy 2 get 1 free
100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say "I could do that."
As Many Times As It Wants!
It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.
A pit bull.
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
Make it sew number 1!
I can't even...
A running play - Obviously...
1 AM feeling very sleepy.
Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!
Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.
Just a little bit.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
11 because it has another 1
The NBA.
1% milk
Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "
They're always trying to 1-Up you.
1. No mind. 2. No business.
About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.
Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7
Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".
Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
2 chairs and a half of a fish.
You're an odd fellow
1. And they get 3 credits for it.
That ash.
She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.
1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation
50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months
1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.
Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.
Fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.
2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash
1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.
1: GENIUS!
He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.
100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.
The Tchernobyl cowboy.
100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.
11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.
A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.
The boy stumbles: "Well euhm... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"
IHOP
Cos 720 is 1
1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout
He can't stand the 1%
1 figure, literally and figuratively.
Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men
No- Good. Yes- That's too much.
Formula 1 drooling!
2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)
Because they allow 1 free carrion
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!
1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise
Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!
You're turning me on!
Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats
I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.
Everywhere else.
OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)
She is allergic to nuts.
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
1 or 2 1... Or 2 1 or 2
2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.
You know you can't but you really want to hit it.
Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him
They don't believe in higher power.
Because Chernobyl fallout.
5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.
It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"
If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.
They literally can't even.
