Always tip your server.
Window.
A huge mess.
1 natural log cabin.
He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."
Cuz it has another 1
Everyone just needs 1 more line.
They both want to pull 1 over on you.
239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".
Remove only the top 1% please.
Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.
11 Because it has another 1
1 or 2? 1... or 2...
11, Because it has another 1.
An envelope!
It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ
0, 1, e, pi.
1
Leave.
Because in charge Yoda was.
Because 6 8 9
1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"
Someone told him it was 2's day.
100. 100 who complain about the lightbulb oppressing them, and 1 man to actually do it.
1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.
5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.
99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.
1%
That one doesn't believe in six before marriage.
Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry.
It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.
The Sirens of the Rams.
1 bear.
It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting.
Because 1 more would have been 240...
He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
1 corpsepower
20 after 1.
Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.
Buy 2 get 1 free
Crimea River
Girl - Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy - I'll give you 69.
100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say "I could do that."
As Many Times As It Wants!
It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.
3 in 1
A pit bull.
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
Make it sew number 1!
When you don't use a condom.
I can't even...
A running play - Obviously...
1 AM feeling very sleepy.
Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!
Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.
Just a little bit.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
11 because it has another 1
The NBA.
1% milk
Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "
They're always trying to 1-Up you.
1. No mind. 2. No business.
1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound
About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.
Because the other.1% is too busy out hunting lions
Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7
Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".
Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
2 chairs and a half of a fish.
You're an odd fellow
1. And they get 3 credits for it.
OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.
That ash.
She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.
1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation
50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up
They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months
1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.
Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.
Fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.
2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash
1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.
1: GENIUS!
He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.
100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.
The Tchernobyl cowboy.
100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.
11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.
A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.
The boy stumbles: "Well euhm... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"
IHOP
Cos 720 is 1
A one night stand with Jesus
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even.
36" "That's not even close" "But it was quick"
They both got their fur low.
They get chapped lips
Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles
Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.
I think his riding style is pretty dope.
Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)
By craic-ing his knuckles.
Komm, Sean!
A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock *who's there * A. Not Alice...
A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!
What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.
Hip-Hop!
