How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!

How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. They hold it in place while the world revolves around them.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many frat boys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they prefer natural light

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."

How many Swiss does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We pay a German to do it.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

What do bees do if they don't want to drive?

Wait at the buzz stop.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Whats the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

One of them is actually wanted!

What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle?

WRONG.**... or right, or something in between.

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What is the craziest/weirdest/most interesting/most unique/ uncommon phrase you've ever heard?

I am working on a project, and its going to revolve around a phrase. I need it to be really out there, yet could be used in everyday life. But honestly just give me anything you got.