Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.
Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
More than one mother-in-law.
Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!
The Daily Express.
Because their mother was in a jam!
Well, that's the edamame.
Because he was in de-Nile
They are always full of seed.
Your mother!
When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother
Blackbirds
Because he was barefooted!!!
Impounding your mother
They both love Ten D's
When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.
BYE-SON!
A pedi-file
Your mother.
I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...
Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!
Because his mother was in the pen, and they didn't know how long the sentence would be.
The MOMbo.
Two mothers-in-law.
They're both fun to watch tumble down stairs.
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.
One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
Because his mother was in a jam.
He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
Labor Day.
Because he wasn't all he was *cracked up* to be.
I wuv you watts and watts.
ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself
Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.
SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING
Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Are you my mother
Because it's baby food.
Dad dad look what marma-laid'!
Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes.
Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add!
If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy
They are both over the counter strike
It's like everyone and their mothers are dying. sorry not sorry
Because two Eds are better than one.
Look, Ma! No hands!
Monster: I did once but my mother made me give it back.
HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!
He had no attachments.
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!
The baby can't carry the mother.
Dual air bags.
Because his mother "panda'd" to his every whim!
Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."
Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers...
Miss ewe!
For smoking in bed.
How I Met Your Mother
New Recruit: Call for backup!
GtOnly if you go aks your mother.
Hmm No risk do both.
Thanks for the mammaries!
Mumbai
Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from Italian hope it makes as much sense as there
Not enough sand.
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.
She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur.
Asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
My mother.
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh really What was the question Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal "
Her mother leaves.
A favorite joke of my mother) The Q because is a big zero with a small tail.
Edamame.
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Look Ma, no hands!
Outlaws are wanted.
Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.
Will I be pretty Will I be rich Here's what she said to me No
The second Eskimo says "Alaska."
Look mom, an angel!
His mother told him to hit the hay.
Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant.
Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.
I can't bereave it!
Tucson.
It's mother was in the pen and it didn't know how long the sentence was.
And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'
As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.
Because his mother was a wafer so long
A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"
Nowhere! He just stuck around!
A chicken stepping on a landmine.
Around the cluck!
Umami.
She named him Oedipus.
She grew out of her b-shells.
Plus sizes!
1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
Hose B
Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!
E.T learned English and wanted to go home.
Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.
Mother's Day.
