What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How does a lawyer name their kids?

Bill and Sue

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why was the man so down in the mouth?

Because he ate his pillow.

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum