Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband?

I'm sorry but I love another Juan.

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland?

Cause North and South Poles repel each other...

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you describe people who tell "I see dead people" jokes?

They have a sixth sense of humor

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

How do you hide money from a Republican?

Hide it in a science book.

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

Why was the Texan afraid of the clock?

Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.

Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's?

Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....