Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Where are the kids?

Me *turns around and goes back out*

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the difference between rock and jazz?

Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

Why do people buy expensive rims?

They're investing in wheel estate.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

Who is this Rorschach guy?

And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

How do you make a sports science major cry?

Remind them that high school is over.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance