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Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Surname

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What did the kid ask the Pirate?

Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Who's there! Cameron! Cameron who?

Cameron film are needed to take pictures!

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Who's there! Andrew! Andrew who?

Andrew all her money out of the bank!

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

How do you make a sports science major cry?

Remind them that high school is over.

Why doesn't Spiderman like rice?

It reminds him of Uncle Ben.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.