Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?

Because they are always losing pounds.

Why did Verizon's mailman get fired?

He was losing packets.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that William Wallace is normally distributed?

Cause he has infinite degrees of FREEEEEDOM!!!

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in The Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow?

Mufasa!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?

Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What does fast and furious 5 and The Walking Dead have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business?

He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..?

Because he Kant drive Immanuel.

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

Why was the scalar depressed?

Because he had no direction.

What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions?

Arrows con Pollo