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Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico, and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did this OkCupid user never go out on a date?

A. "I couldn't imagine a date could be interested in knowing about me more than this website"

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.

What is the magic word?

Son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target?

Of course, I'm shuriken.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What's Terrance Howard's favorite Radiohead song?

1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

What would you say are your strengths?

Me: Words Him: Can you say more Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions

How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.