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What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog in a bun?

A subwoofer.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

How do you celebrate an Ethiopian child's first birthday?

By laying flowers on their grave.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What's the difference between a frog and a cat?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense?

You are the banner of my existence.