What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog!

What dog can tell the time?

A watch dog!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Why did the American spend an entire winter in a Russian hotel?

They say he was snowed in.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?

A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

I didn't make an enzyme last night.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.