What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

Why are dogs always thirsty?

Because water fountains were designed for humans!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time?

The Age Of Ultron.

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did "Nock" say to "K"?

You can join us, as long as you stay quiet.

What do you call a witch that stays out all night?

A fresh air freak.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?

A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Why does Wonder Woman fly?

Because she can't drive for sh*t.

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.