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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do dogs do business?

Pro-bono

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When is the only time you're not American?

When European.

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why Did The NSA Worker Have To Stay In Russia?

He Was Snowed In(Snowden))

How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee?

He replied......It's hard

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night?

Net fish and krill

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.