What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do SQL programmers do at night?

Count star.

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What are they doing?

Now I wonder the same thing.

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.