What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the diver say to the oyster?

I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What is a punny play?

A play on words.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Socrate Jokes More Socrate Jokes

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Soccer Jokes More Soccer Jokes

Why can't unicorns play soccer?

Because they don't exist

How are third party candidates like soccer?

They're only really popular in America once every four years.