What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

Socrate Jokes More Socrate Jokes

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)

Why does everyone love Plato?

Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates

Soccer Jokes More Soccer Jokes

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.