Socrate Jokes

Why does everyone love Plato?

Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates

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What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?

A flossopher!

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)

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Y Jokes More Y Jokes

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

What is the plural of y'all?

What is the plural of y'all -Y'alls -All y'all.

Soccer Jokes More Soccer Jokes

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

How are third party candidates like soccer?

They're only really popular in America once every four years.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns?

An chestra.

November Jokes More November Jokes

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie?

Whoever wins...we lose.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

Which of the American forces is the most patriotic?

The Air Force, because its US AF.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How do Chinese parents pick a name for their child?

Throw an aluminum pan down the stairs.

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Pick it! (Picket)

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.