Socrate Jokes

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?

A flossopher!

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)

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Y Jokes More Y Jokes

What is the plural of y'all?

What is the plural of y'all -Y'alls -All y'all.

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

Plato Jokes More Plato Jokes

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

He didn't understand Flossophy!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)

Why did Jesus go to the gym?

To make sure his cross fit.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)

What do you call a dog in a diving bell?

A sub-woofer

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team?

Their best swimmers are all in American waters.

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Poison Jokes More Poison Jokes

What's that funny taste?

Definitely not poison. Have another slice!

Why did Snow White buy an android phone?

She thought the apple was poisoned.