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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside?

A hot dog.

How did the dog make gold soup?

He put in 24 carrots.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house?

He's still there.

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise particularly hareobics!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What has more lives than a cat?

A frog -- it croaks every night.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.