What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A dog barking in a mirror.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

R/explainlikeimfive

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Where did the newlywed horses stay?

In the bridle suite!

How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

Student: "By staying home"

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night?

Net fish and krill

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.