What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where'd you get the pig"?

Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

Why didn't Pope John Paul let dogs into the Vatican?

Because they pee on poles.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?

Time to try the udder one.

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B?

Plan C-ya.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.