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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

What's the best response when someone wastes your time?

Answers below please.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

Insolvent

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why was the little shoe sad?

I'm here all night

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).