What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

This joke may have profanity.
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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?

One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

What do you call a dog wearing a watch?

You would call it a dog. A dog wearing a watch is not a watchdog.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

Where does a catholic cat go when it dies?

Purrrgatory.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Why was the couch afraid of the chair?

The chair was armed.

Nice Try Jokes More Nice Try Jokes